30 by 30

Greetings! Well I wanted to write to track my progress and to share a couple of things that have really helped me on my journey.

My motto for this journey has been 30 by 30. As stated earlier I will be 30 this December and my weight loss goal is 30 lbs, thus the 30 by 30. I started this endeavor in February so my goal for each month is 3 lbs. When I think of it this way, small increments, it helps me not feel overwhelmed. It frees me from the pressure of the big numbers and the stress of making sure that I loose a certain amount every day or week. This has also helps me to live my life realistically. I know that even if I try as hard as I can to eat perfect, life happens! Surprise fellowships at church with only cake, chips and soda, or the piece of cake after our lunch date. I find that I don't beat myself up because the stress of time and numbers are gone. When I would beat myself up mentally for messing up it would add to the pressure of failure and make me want to quit. I haven't been experience that and I feel this is so important because I want this to be a permanent change. I can happily report that for the first month I successfully met my 3 pound goal and I am doing good for this month, yah! Small victory! 

When I decided to become healthy I really started reflecting on what went wrong last time and what I could do to change this time around. First thing that really needed to change was my mental attitude. I kept thinking 'as soon as I get to my goal I can stop', this is so wrong and I know that now. I heard it a thousand times, "this has to be a lifestyle change, not just a diet",  but it didn't internalize. As I was eating healthy and exercising, I was mentally ticking off pounds and watching the clock waiting till I could resume my old habits. The thing that has really helped me combat this is to remember I'm doing this not to loose weight but become healthy. That has really changed the way I look at things. There is a certain pin floating around pinterest that has really helped me see this correctly, it's this 

FITNESS MOTIVATION 

It's not so much the skinny/fat image but the vegetables vs. junk food image. If all I'm consuming is junk then that is all my body will be made up of. My cells on their most basic level will be functioning improperly because they aren't getting the fuel that they need. I want my body to be strong and healthy. This picture just really helped to get a mental picture of that.  

Another area that I really had a wrong prospective in was my 'cheat' days/meals. I know that this also was a product of an improper view of what I was doing. When I craved something I would tell myself "this is just a 'cheat' food" and eat it. But it slowly started to stretch into all my meals and mindsets. The thought that if it's a cheat meal then it doesn't go against me, like cheating at a test, nobody will see it, it is something to ignore or overlook. The thing that has helped me is I tell myself "every bite counts". There aren't any cheat meals, yes I can have that chocolate BUT IT STILL COUNTS and I need to remember that in the big picture. Adapting these seemly simple things have helped me tremendously to stay on track. 

I'm still working on getting my garden started. In the states we have the motivation of seasons but here it's the same year round, while it's nice, it doesn't help. The melting of snow and the dissipation of cold temperatures force you outdoors, here its a constant. So it's still on my list.  

America Samoa

I just wanted to share a little bit of our new home with you.
 When we tell people that we live in American Samoa, people say, "Wow! Now where is that?" SO it is possible that you had the same reaction. Let me give you a little geography lesson. American Samoa is a small (let me stress small) Island in the South Pacific. We are situated the right of Fiji (Fiji is just the right and North of New Zealand and Australia) and about 2000 miles south of Guam and Hawaii, if they were two points on a triangle we would be the tip. The longitude is 13 degrees south of the equator, parallel with the souther part of Peru, if you were judging by South America just how far South we are. (I'm trying to get landmarks that most people would recognize).

It is a very beautiful and wonderful place to live. Here is a beach close to our house. 

  Samoan people are so loving and welcoming, every where we drive we get smiles and waves. I know that this is mostly because we are Palagi (pronounced paalangi) or white so that draws attention but they are such loving people. When we drive through the different villages around the Island I feel like we are living in a modern Mayberry. There are always people sitting outside talking or groups of people playing volleyball. Most people walk, ride in the back of trucks or take the bus so there is always a throng of humanity taking to the streets. After coming from the states where you barley know your neighbor, especially where we were from (a military town where your neighbors change every 6 months) it is so refreshing! 

 So because this a 'getting myself healthier blog' I will share some of my struggles I've ran into while I've been here. One of the biggest difficulty that I've found is getting fresh produce. 90% of the food that is on the Island is imported from other nations. We get a 'boat', more like a freighter once a month and its important to time your shopping around these deliveries, if not forget produce! Even if you time it right a lot of the veggies are going bad at the time of purchase. The other difficulty I've ran into is the prices! Because food is imported the prices are exorbitant! If you want grapes you will pay $12 for a small package, a head of lettuce will go for $7. This makes eating healthy very expensive, I do believe that's why there is such a obesity epidemic here. The junk food is cheap; white bread, chips, white rice, hot dogs and ramen noodles seem to be the staple of most people because they are affordable, especially when you are supporting a family of 6-10 people on a $4.65 a hr. The prices don't equal out to the pay, but that would be another blog. Local produce is very limited, but there is some. There is a big population of Chinese people and they have big gardens which they harvest and sell to the stores but its very hit and miss, when you find them its like finding treasure! 

SO in order to combat these difficulties, my next endeavor is to plant a garden. The rainy season is over and I cleared it with my landlord yesterday! Wish me luck! I'll post pictures of the progress! Also I'll try to post more about the Island and what's been going on in our life! 

The Start of Another Journey

Well, I started this blog in 2012, almost 3 years ago, to track my weight loss journey. I started and fizzled out, surprise! I had made a commitment to becoming healthy and losing 30 lbs, I wanted to change and I wanted to track my progress on here. I wanted an electronic diary so I could look back and see the wonderful progress that I made. I started exercising 5 times a week, a mix of cardio and weight training, tracking all my food through livestrong.com and, for a while, track my progress on here. I started eating better, making better choices and I started to see results. I quit blogging, but I continued to work hard and after six weeks of busting my butt and eating right, guess what?! I lost all 30 pounds!!! It was amazing! I quickly went into my garage and dragged out the tote of 'skinny' clothes that I had been saving for years. This certain red colored tote had been packed up and taken to 3 different states. Arizona, Utah, Arizona again, then it had been packed and hauled with us to California. I got out 'those' capris, you know the ones we all have, we love them but they just never fit right. I put them on and they buttoned with ease. It was a perfect fit, actually a little room to spare. I was shocked, elated, so excited! For the first time in a long time I felt comfortable in my own skin. I could dress without the discomfort of tight clothes or the nagging voice at the back of my mind telling myself "I look fat", "I would look cute, if it wasn't for that roll right there" etc. Here is where most people's blogs stop about their journey and start with all the health nut recipes, amazing exercises they found and the "skinny" but amazing tasting cookies they created, but not mine.
 Let's get a time table here, in March of 2012 I got my revelation of overweightness (not a word, I know) and started working out, eating healthier and tracking my food. In May of 2012 I was at my goal weight. From May 2012 - February 2013 I stayed there. But I'm writing to tell you what happened after that. The first thing that happened was I quit working out. We moved and every time we move I get off my workout schedule, that was June of 2012, so just one short month after attaining my goal I stopped. Of course it wasn't a conscience decision of quitting, it was more of a "I'll get back to it", "I'll skip just today", "I'm so tired and the house needs to be put back together" kind of process. But I didn't gain weight back so I was ok. Then next thing that happened was I started slipping in my food. I kept hearing everyone say, "once I got to my goal weight I could eat whatever I wanted" so I did. This too didn't effect me, at least not at first. I would eat junk food or fast food or sugary food and then the next day jump on the scale and expect to see huge numbers flash across the screen, but it never happened. It would be a half a pound here and pound there, so I continued as usual. My clothes got get a little tight and I would think about it for a minute then continue down my path to weight destruction. I kept tracking my food for a while and Julie, (my sister in law/trainer) would say things like "you're in your calorie goal, but you need to learn what healthy is, these foods your putting into your body aren't good". Even thought I had her guiding voice and the answers of "how to" I still slowly put weight back on. The mental conversations started again, "Meghan you're at 10 pounds, you need to get this under control" and "14 pounds, it's a lot but it's still manageable, I could just lose this real quick and be right back where I was" and "ugh, I better get my bigger sized jeans out, these don't fit", "Yikes!! 20 pounds back on this is bad!" then at that point I just stop caring and embraced  the mind set of "Whatever!!  I've already lost control so who cares!" So at just about two years from the start I was back at the beginning.
  So fast forward to today, I've stayed the same weight I was when I started my journey to a "Healthier MEg". I would say that this is a 'default' weight, it's what I come to rest at when I just live my life in neutral, eating what I want and not exercising. But I've decided I need to change. Now what prompted this change? Well the first thing is my health. I'm not struggling with a major illness or something of that nature but we have moved, again, but this time our move was overseas. We are now living in American Samoa. My husband and I had the great privilege of taking the church here and we love it! But there is a down side to the white sand beaches of the the South Pacific. I have never been a sick person but since moving here I have been down with 'something' about every other week. I know this should be expected to a certain degree when you're placed into a new environment and exposed to new germs you're more likely to pick up a cold or two. But the sickness I'm talking about goes beyond that.  As I was laying I bed fighting yet another bout of virus inflicted sickness it hit me like a rock, I'm having a hard time fighting this because my body isn't healthy. Not just, I'm carrying around extra weight, but my body doesn't have and isn't getting the proper nutrients to fight these sickness. This was really hard for me to hear and to process. The second prompt came from the fact that at the end of this year I will be turning 30! I know it's big milestone of leaving your adolescents and becoming a true adult. Although I have to say I've felt grown up for a long time, that's what happens when you get married at 19, have 3 kids and enter full time ministry. But I've struggled with my weight for all of my 20's and I've decided that I need to leave that struggle behind with the age and move forward. Another reason is, I saw a beautiful picture of my mom and her sisters. They are all so striking and healthy, I know that genes play a part in your body and (thankfully) I have that going for me so I need to use this to my advantage. But I don't want to wait until I'm 40 or 50 or 60 like some of them did to get my weight under control, I want the majority of my adulthood to be lived in freedom and the victory of becoming healthy. Another major factor is I think I'm finally ready. Ready to face the truth about my relationship with food, ready to admit to myself that what I've been doing doesn't work and that I have to change.  So as I start again on this new journey to being healthy, please join me. Offer insight, ask questions and help me stay on track!